10 Things You’ll Need By “Chuck”

Top 10 Things You’ll Need When Running From an Assassin


1. Chinese Throwing Stars – Pointy and deadly. ‘Nuff said.

2. Super Glue – Because the world is an imperfect place. If it wasn’t, well, why would an assassin be chasing you?

3. Swiss Army Knife – Terrifying and sharp as the Swiss people themselves.

4. iPhone – To frustrate any assassin trying to type an email or SMS.

5. Morgan Grimes – Clouseau had Cato, Fred had Barney, Tango had Cash… I have Morgan. Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.

6. Adidas Track Suit – Comfortable, slimming, elegant, enchanting.

7. Butter – What? Butter isn’t delicious?

8. Nintendo Wii – If you’re going to outrun an assassin you better know how to play Wii Tennis.

9. A Spork – As I’ve always said: the best offense is a good defense.

10. Flamethrower – Because sometimes it’s easier to get your point across by shooting fire out of a gun than it is if you don’t have the capability to shoot fire out of a gun.