KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST — Kathy and Levi Johnston Tour Wasilla — Pictured: (l-r) Levi Johnston, Kathy Griffin — Photo by: Matt Hage/Bravo
We should all thank John McCain for selecting Sarah Palin as his running mate back in 2008. If it weren’t for that moment in time, we might be calling him President McCain today and we wouldn’t all be drooling over some Alaskan nobody named Levi Johnston in the pages of Playgirl. We also wouldn’t have this hilarious episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.
By : CHAD KENNEDY
We should all thank John McCain for selecting Sarah Palin as his running mate back in 2008. If it weren’t for that moment in time, we might be calling him President McCain today and we wouldn’t all be drooling over some Alaskan nobody named Levi Johnston in the pages of Playgirl. We also wouldn’t have this hilarious episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.
The episode kicks off at ‘Casa Del Gay’ aka the mansion Kathy is calling home while her home is gutted for a renovation. Kathy and crew are mapping out her war on Alaska and Sarah Palin. She will be playing a gig in Alaska and while there she is going to hook up with Bristol Palin’s babydaddy, Levi Johnston. When Kathy calls her bf, Levi, to tell him of her upcoming visit he sounds about as thrilled as you can expect John McCain’s wife to be when he pops a Viagra.
KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST — Kathy and Levi Johnston Tour Wasilla — Pictured: (l-r) Levi Johnston, Kathy Griffin — Photo by: Matt Hage/Bravo
Before Kathy leaves for Alaska, her mom tells her to take it easy on Sarah Palin. Remember, Maggie is a Fox News fan and Sarah Palin devotee. Maggie says Sarah is taking it from all sides. If only she knew how true that statement probably is.
Kathy soon arrives in Sarah Palin Country – Wasilla, Alaska. This is the town that Sarah used to be Mayor of as she clawed her way to become a half-term Governor. It is also coincidentally, or not, the meth capital of Alaska. Kathy skips the meth labs and heads straight to Levi’s house. It’s a pretty modest home; he certainly isn’t using his Playgirl money on a lavish bachelor pad. Levi gives her a tour of his place, a picture of Tripp (his baby boy with Bristol) hangs on the wall as soon as you walk in. We move into the bedroom where I am sure the ‘magic’ has happened between Levi and half of Wasilla. Dead, stuffed and mounted animals have taken over the rest of Levi’s house. You can take the boy out of Alaska, but you clearly can’t take the Alaska out of him.
Kathy and Levi head over to the Mayor’s office to pay him a visit. He refuses to meet with them. Go figure! Next, they go buy some ‘Home of Sarah Palin’ t-shirts, two – one for Maggie and the other for the housekeeper to use as a rag. As Kathy makes her rounds around Wasilla she is touting her new slogan for Alaska “love it or suck it.” After exploring the town Kathy and Levi take a drive over to the Palin household. Levi is smart enough to stay behind in the car, but Kathy marches right up to the front door and knocks. Some guy working on the house tells Kathy that Sarah’s not home. You betcha she’s not! She’s probably off greeting some Russians or something. Kathy leaves Sarah a cute little note inviting her to her gig. Think Sarah will show?
Levi decides it’d be a good idea to take Kathy ice fishing so that’s what they do next. Kathy’s assistant, Tiffany, is there as well and helps save Kathy as she about falls in one of the ice holes. Levi and his friend let Kathy drill a hole. I doubt this is the first time Kathy’s drilled a hole, if you know what I mean. Thankfully, Kathy doesn’t cut off any limbs or kill anyone else in the process. Now that the holes are drilled there’s nothing else to do but sit and ice fish, and how exciting is that! After a while of bobbing her bait up and down. Wow, is it just me or does ice fishing sound dirty? No wonder Bristol was knocked up before she turned 18. Kathy admits she’s ready to get knocked up just out of pure boredom.
Kathy goes to grab a coffee at some roadside shack to give her some energy. There she meets some dog sled people who let her take a ride on their dog sled. Afterward, Kathy says she’s “tired after doing it doggy-style.” Ha!
Kathy and Tiffany do dinner with Levi, his friend, and his spiritual advisor, Tank. At dinner Tiffany’s love life becomes the main topic and Tank tells her that he’s going to have a contest at the nightclub he owns where a guy can win a date with Tiffany. Tiffany likes her men Tiger Woods/Chris Brown looking without the prostitutes and beat down’s.
The next day, Kathy and Levi do an interview together with Playgirl magazine. Daniel Nardicio from Playgirl asks them about their relationship and then shows Kathy Levi’s “spread” for the first time. Surprisingly, Bravo didn’t blur his butt shots so for those of you who missed it, be sure to Google it and then come back to post your thoughts on his “assets.”
Following the interview Kathy and Levi are doing an autograph signing event. It’s Levi’s first and he’ll be signing copies of his Playgirl while Kathy signs copies of her book. Kathy teaches him how to react to the gays who will be trying to pick him up. Levi admits he doesn’t mind the gays loving him anymore. Once Kathy and Levi are at the bookstore they find out the store doesn’t want Levi signing the Playgirl copies, but the gays and cougars can’t contain themselves and make him sign some copies anyway. Rule breakers!
Tonight is the club event where Tiffany is going to be given away to some random Alaskan guy. Before they head out to the club, Kathy and Levi give Tiffany some crucial advice, like be ready to give a BJ on the first date. They arrive to the club and Kathy is a hot faux fur mess. There are absolutely no Tiger Woods/Chris Brown looking guys in the place, the guys are all as white as you can get. One looks like a model, another looks like the typical Alaskan igloo-dwelling logger, and then there is some sloppy guy who looks like he was on his way to the gym and got lost. Tiffany starts throwing back some drinks while Kathy chats up the boys and starts grinding her dirty self against them. She’s just checking out the goods to make sure they’re good enough for Tiffany. In the end, Tiffany chooses the stereotypical Alaskan igloo-dwelling logger looking dude. It’s sure to be true love!
After the contest for Tiffany, Kathy, Levi, and the crew make their way to a gay bar where they take the stage and the gays go crazy. Who thinks Kathy and Levi should do a tour together? How fun would that be?
The show ends with Kathy’s gig. She’s nervous that her Sarah Palin bashing is going to be met with boos, but it turns out Alaska hates the Palin’s too. The audience loves her Palin bashing.
Next week, Lauren Conrad and Suze Orman come on the show which should be highly entertaining.
